1/18/2004 11:38:00 PM
"Like Saul on the bike path to Damascus, Howard Dean found God, and so God decided to take another look at Wes Clark. Then Clark announced that he has studied "Catholicism, Protestantism, Christianity, Buddhism, Islam, Judaism, [and] Kabbalism," and God, Who, after all those parted waters and halted suns and multiplied loaves, expects people to recognize that Catholicism and Protestantism are forms of Christianity and that Kabbalism is a form of Judaism, and Who does not take kindly to having the secret knowledge of the true divinity represented in the sub-lunar sphere by a Clark-supporting culturally obsolete pop star with a fetish for red string, thought to shine His countenance upon Joe Lieberman. It was the right thing to do; the senator had earned the endorsement. But He understood, in His wisdom, that this would be too predictable and too Jewish, and so He directed His spirit toward Virginia Beach, where He revealed the outcome of the election to Pat Robertson, thereby demonstrating to a country captiously obsessed with the imperfections of its notables that the Almighty sometimes has a purpose for broken vessels."